8 Steps to Protect Children
February 17, 2007While we are assaulted daily by politicians and the media on the dangers of a stranger abducting your children, the real fact is stranger abduction accounts for five (5) percent of children age 12 and under in the United States each year. Child abuse or maltreatment takes many forms, many children are subjected to multiple abuse. The breakdown for 2001 by American Humane is as follows:
* Neglect 59.2%
* Physical abuse 18.6%
* Sexual abuse 9.6%
* Emotional/psychological 6.8%
* Other 19.5% (unknown, abductions by parents or relatives, etc.)
Notice, sexual abuse, regardless of what the media and politicians try to tell us, is not the number one abuse type. Additionally, according to ALL reports, there has been a steady decline of all types of reported abuse since 1995.
The U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, has been tracking these statistics. Let’s make sure we are clear on the facts regarding child fatalities. These statistics vividly show the extent of the problem. They categorically refute the claim by politicians and the media that child sexual abuse is the number one problem facing our children. Even if we combine “Multiple Mistreatment Types” and “Sexual Abuse”, we arrive at 31%. This is still less than “Neglect” alone and the combined “Neglect” and “Physical Abuse” categories, which are the most common types of abuse.
Here is a real solution, PREVENTION. Protect your own children.
1. Provide positive information that is based on truth, not myths. This instills the value of honesty and openness and shows you trust your children to know the facts. Check out the STATISTICS.
2. Teach appropriate boundaries. Tell them under no circumstances is ANYONE, family member, friend, trusted authority figure, etc. allowed to touch them inappropriately or talk to them in an inappropriate manner. Teach them to say the following:
“I know what you are trying to do is wrong, and if you continue, I WILL tell my parents, the police, or someone who will listen and you will go to jail.”
3. Tell them that they should not have any secrets from you and that you will never blame them for something an adult does to them. Also, teach them to respect themselves and others. Boys should respect girls and girls should respect boys. When children respect themselves, it is easy for them to respect others.
4. Have them walk in groups of three or more to school, or the playground, or to friend’s house. Identify SAFE places for them and tell them to scream and run to the nearest SAFE place, when approached by a stranger.
5. If a sex offender moves in to the neighborhood. Find out what the charge was, most times, you would find out it was not an offense against a child. Go and talk to the person. Remember, some people are falsely accused and are pressured into taking a plea bargain. If they admit wrongdoing, listen for indicators they have been in treatment and have complied with all the terms of the court. Likewise, listen for indicators they are in denial, or are minimizing or rationalizing; these are typically red flags of more serious problems. If they live alone, find out what their support mechanism is. Point them to the SO-Solutions Help page.
6. If necessary, tell you children to walk on the other side of the street, or find another route to their friend’s house, tell them to inform you or another parent if the offender approaches them. Don’t instill fear in your children; this will NOT make them safe, it will only add to childhood insecurities. Use common sense and your children will use common sense as well.
7. Keep your child’s computer in a common area of the house, NOT in their bedroom. While we recommend computer-monitoring programs to help, don’t rely on them exclusively, most children are computer savvy enough to defeat these programs. Instead, set ground rules and reasonable expectations for Internet usage and monitor your child’s computer usage. Make sure children NEVER give out, or post personal information. Do NOT allow your child’s friends to access your computer without your knowledge and make sure they are aware of your rules. Remember, ONLY YOU, AS A PARENT, can insure your child’s safety online.
8. Use what you have learned here to educate family members, and other parents; fear mongering will not protect anyone’s child and will only lead them to mistrust people.
Statistics and resources:
Sex Offenders Solution Network - Child Neglect Facts
U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families
